Redefining the Rebel Healer
Author Note: This is my story of realization of a conditioning I had to break for myself to become the person I am and the Wisdom that came because I did.
I’m a Rebel
For most of my life I have been called a rebel, someone that has a problem with authority.
I’ve worn that label as a badge of honor, and I owned my rebellious heart.
Reveled in the joy of being against the system, that I was going to do it my way.
Yet, when I was a child, they would have described me as the one prefect child, always doing as I was told, not getting in trouble, quiet and unseen as children were supposed to be.
I was raised in very strict LDS house and fully believed that if I put one toe out of the line of God I would be taken straight to hell (or outer darkness as they called it).
Of course, a child like me created a lot of trouble for my mother with talking to spirits and predicting conversational dialogues.
I quickly learned that was a sign of the devil and kept things to myself.
When I was baptized at the age of 8, I was able to repent for all those sins and live a pure life.
So, that’s what I did.
Though, I did not feel comfortable with it nor trust that I believed in the church.
I remained that way, never questioning just doing or not what I was told regardless of my own wisdom.
That is until one day my mother was commenting on what a perfect child I was, how I didn’t try to steal or lie as my elder brothers and sisters had.
First Awakening
This awoke something in me.
I had been lied to.
Still, the reverent child, I quietly tested the waters and pushed the boundaries to see what I could get away with.
I started lying about being ill to be able to stay home from church, started stealing from my brother and stores, started going to my friends’ churches that weren’t LDS, and found a joy in alternative music.
Slowly, I grew into a punk rock, gothic, pagan.
Listening to my music and practicing pagan ceremonies in secret.
This is when I was slapped with the label of a Rebel!
Sometimes I giggle when I think about my mother being so confused about how this happened when she was the one that lit the match.
Authority Issues
Why do I bring all this to light?
I feel it’s important to understand not only for myself but for all rebels and those with “authority issues” to bring another perspective that may help them shift this rebel energy label into a more positive light.
Over the years I’ve looked back on my life.
I have found authority figures I didn’t mind following, I tried living the American dream. I got the car, did the 9 to 5 job, the house, the husband.
How is that a rebel?
I did as my bosses wished. I looked up to some of my teachers and bosses and even had a great relationship with them.
I thank those in uniforms for the work they do, though I don’t enjoy being pulled over.
How is that a rebel?
How is that being someone with a problem with authority?
I still hung on to this rebel label though.
I tripped myself up with it and ended up staying in situations that became toxic because I was so worried that my rebel heart was just having a problem with authority.
Then one day something whispered to me,
“You are not a rebel; you are not rebelling. You are standing in alignment with who you are.”
Disrespectful Authority
Suddenly it was clear.
I do NOT have a problem with authority. I have a problem with DISRESPECTFUL authority.
I have a problem following the majority without questioning why.
As a child I was lied to about everything. The authorities around me made me uncomfortable and made me feel unsafe.
They fed me these stories about what would happen if I didn’t follow the right path. Then turned around and didn’t follow the path themselves.
They just wanted me to be in line, not to ask questions and if I dad have questions, they’d make me feel stupid because I was questioning something, or they didn’t have the answers.
This feeling stuck with me but I was made to believe by myself and by others that I was the one who was the problem. That I had to find a way to fix myself to fit into what they needed. (yay for also being a people pleaser)
Yet, in a way I guess I was the problem, their problem because I wasn’t blindly obedient.
You’re probably thinking this is good information but what does it have to do with being a healer? The answer is EVERYTHING!
The Elders
The teachers and Elders of the Spiritual Wisdom and Light are the authorities now and some act just as the leaders in church and other authorities around me did when I was child.
Making me feel inadequate for not seeing things the way they do, and not blindly following them without question, even if it made me uncomfortable.
I’ve met others that have felt this way as well.
Maybe the Elders feel we are being disrespectful, being rebels for wanting to do it our own way, but the truth is that we are just seeing it different and wanting more understanding.
We honor that the Elder generation of Healers, Light Workers, and Light Walkers through many cultures have kept things alive and well and under our noses.
The Elder generation were the “rebels” stepping out of the societal norms of their time. Still this work we are doing in the general human collective is not this widely accepted.
The Elder generations faced a lot of adversity.
Many had to do this by being very strict and private about the gifts they have, and they created a safe space for the younger generation to join. It is a safer world than the one they were handed.
The veil of knowledge is becoming thinner, and the younger generations are awakening into the work the Elder generations set in place.
Each day more Wisdom is coming into the Light.
The “Rebel” Student
On my spiritual healing path, I was faced with my own dilemma when my guides started to question why I was still working with the teachers I had.
One thing I’d like to make abundantly clear is that my teachers weren’t teaching things that were harmful or wrong.
The Wisdom they were sharing was beautiful, but it wasn’t the path that I needed to be on.
It was time for me to start down a different path of Wisdom.
I fought with myself for a year and half, believing that I was just being a rebel.
That my rebel self was surfacing, my issues and shadows not wanting to do the work I asked to do.
This rebel label I accepted created chaos and doubt within me, it surfaced as disrespect and butting heads with the teachers around me.
The story I created for myself is that I was a rebellious student, fighting the authorities in my life. My shadow self was feeling caged in like when I was a child, forced into a way of thinking that didn’t make sense.
This battle within me resulted in the Tower Tarot card becoming my living story. Everything fell apart around me, and I was forced to create the changes I was afraid to make.
See, it was time for me to stand in full alignment with my path again, trusting in my own knowledge of MY path, and to prepare for the new teachers that will be coming.
Wisdom Craves Evolution
We still have loads of people that don’t believe in what we are doing.
This work is not going to look the same as what the Elders generations have been doing.
What the Elder generations are doing may not align completely with what you as the younger generation of Healers, Light Workers, and Light Walkers need to do.
You are not rebelling or disrespecting them if you ask clarifying questions.
“This is the way it’s always been” is not a reason to keep repeating the same practices, especially if it’s making you uncomfortable.
If your guides are pointing out why it’s making you uncomfortable.
If things supposed to stay just as they have always been, then we wouldn’t be seeing more and more healing modalities to coming to light.
This Wisdom awaking craves and requires evolution, there’s a need to add to what the Elder generations have created.
Some of the Elder generation may not agree.
They have constructs that they’ve created to keep themselves safe. They may even believe that their path is the only way.
Maybe for them that is the truth.
They still deserve respect for the work they have done, but that does not mean you have to blindly follow them.
It does not make you a rebel for stepping outside of their normal and blazing your own trail.
Every Healer, Light Worker, and Light Walker is so uniquely beautiful that create new perspectives and alternative paths. It also creates space for those looking for our gifts to find the flavor that’s going to work for them.
That’s how we are going to spread the Wisdom and the Light to the entire world not just select group of people.
To me the rebels are the ones continuing in the societal norms disconnected from the Wisdom, the Light, and the Earth.
Let us the Healers, Light Workers, and Light Walkers break free of the rebel label.
We are NOT rebels, we are choosing to live in alignment with the Wisdom, the Light, and who we are!
If this reading stirred up emotions that you’d like to explore further, please feel free to contact me through email or schedule a Virtual Session today.
